Balancing Optimism and Realism

The battle between the optimist and the pessimist is a classic argument, perhaps most commonly described with the “glass half full” vs. “glass half empty” paradigm. An optimist always sees the bright side of any challenging situation, while the pessimist sees only the difficulties ahead. The optimist may accuse the pessimist of being unnecessarily negative and cynical, while the pessimist may accuse the optimist of ignoring reality. This divide can become overwhelmingly apparent particularly when facing a challenge such as a disease like cystic fibrosis.

When I was first starting this site, I became aware of the opinion of some CF patients who sometimes became very annoyed with overly-optimistic individuals. This got my attention, since I was aiming to portray the medical advancements of CF in a very optimistic manner. I came to understand that sometimes too much optimism can come across as trivializing the serious side of CF. This could be rather insulting for someone who has had to face serious struggles in their life as a result of the disease. There are also individuals who feel that to be optimistic is to be naive and unprepared for the serious consequences of CF.

As a scientist, I am very aware of the importance of looking at facts for what they are. As the wife of someone with CF, I am also aware of the difficulties faced by those with the disease. I will never truly understand those difficulties, since I don’t have the disease myself, but my husband and I have a closeness that only comes through marriage, and I do share some of his struggles. I certainly would never want to trivialize those struggle.

That said, I am an eternal optimist. I need to look on the bright side of everything in order to be able to function. This becomes more pronounced when faced with serious situations. And that’s why I started this website - I wanted to really highlight the hopeful side of cystic fibrosis by emphasizing the advancements in medical treatments that have become available in recent years.

I know some people with CF try really hard to follow new treatments, are fastidious about taking all their meds and doing their therapies and following through with doctor appointments and tune ups - and despite all this, their health still declines. I know that these patients can get really frustrated with the suzy sunshine optimism that some people display, since they are trying their best and they still aren’t getting better. I can only imagine how frustrating this would be. None of the information posted here is supposed to imply that anyone with CF can magically get better by following all their medical guidelines to a T. It really can be luck of the draw; some people with CF will just live longer than others, despite what therapies they are following. This is not a flaw on their part; it doesn’t mean they are doing something wrong or that they need to try harder; it’s just the unfortunate reality of the disease. As much as I like to emphasize all of the progress, that part of CF will always be there. It’s scary and sad and unfair.

But I still believe that a positive attitude is going to be the best for anyone’s health, and those who have suffered through the most difficult challenges will benefit if they can manage to summon the energy to keep the hope alive. I know that having that energy can be really hard when you’re at your lowest point. I also feel that at these times, the ridiculously optimistic people are the ones who can really help keep you going and pull through. Everyone needs to be able to express their fears, and the real scary side of being sick and the prospect of dying. I know that, and I wouldn’t try to stop anyone from expressing that, when they are going through something so serious. I know that having a shoulder to cry on can be much more helpful than hearing a standby “don’t worry everything will be ok, you’ll get better if you just believe it!”. I know that hearing the latter phrase can be harmful at the wrong time, as well. On this website, I will be keeping up my optimistic attitude while hopefully remaining sensitive to the challenges that come with the territory. I hope everyone participating in the discussions here will agree. If we can find the balance between optimism and realism, we can find the most benefit from our attitudes.